Why We Need to Rethink Feedback, Criticism, and Being Told We’re Wrong
There is something fundamentally broken in the way many of us think about feedback, criticism, and being told we’re wrong. For a lot of people, these things feel uncomfortable, even personal. We tend to avoid them, soften them, or remove them entirely. But in doing so, we are also removing one of the most important mechanisms for growth. If no one ever tells you that you’re doing something wrong, how are you supposed to get better at it?
I’ve experienced this problem firsthand through applying for a wide range of roles with Sheffield City Council. These roles span different departments and skillsets, and on paper, many organisations like this emphasise inclusivity and openness to candidates from alternative backgrounds. That sounds great in theory. But in practice, I’ve consistently received little to no feedback when unsuccessful. Just a rejection and that’s the end of the process.
The issue here isn’t rejection. Rejection is part of life, and anyone trying to improve themselves should expect it. The real issue is the absence of information. If I apply for a role and don’t get it, I need to know why. Was I completely off the mark? Did I misunderstand the role? Or was I actually close, and just needed to present my experience slightly differently? Without that feedback, I’m left guessing—and guessing is not a reliable strategy for improvement.
If I’m genuinely not good at something that’s important for my success, then it becomes even more important that someone tells me. That’s not a negative thing it’s actually incredibly valuable information. Being told “you’re nowhere near the standard required” might be uncomfortable, but it’s actionable. Equally, being told “you were close, but your application lacked clarity in this one area” could be the difference between repeated failure and eventual success. Small adjustments can have a big impact, but only if you know what needs adjusting.
This isn’t just about job applications it’s also about mindset. We need to normalise criticism as something constructive rather than something to be avoided. The idea that criticism is inherently negative is one of the biggest barriers to personal and professional development. In reality, the people who improve the fastest are usually the ones who actively seek out feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Organisations also need to take some responsibility here. If a company or public body claims to support people from diverse or non-traditional backgrounds, then feedback should be part of that commitment. Without it, those claims lose substance. You can’t say you want to open doors while simultaneously refusing to tell people why they didn’t get through them. Feedback doesn’t just help individuals it creates a more capable and competitive pool of applicants over time.
There’s also a broader cultural issue at play. In many environments, people avoid giving honest feedback because they don’t want to offend or discourage others. But there’s a difference between being harsh and being clear. Constructive, well-delivered criticism is one of the most useful things you can give someone. It shows respect for their potential and gives them a chance to improve.
At a personal level, I’ve come to see feedback especially negative feedback as something I need and is essential for my future success. If I’m doing something wrong, I’d rather know immediately than continue making the same mistake repeatedly. Progress depends on iteration, and iteration depends on information. Without feedback, there is no clear path forward just trial and error.
Ultimately, we need to change the way we think about being told we’re wrong. It shouldn’t be seen as a setback, but as a necessary step towards getting things right. Whether it’s in job applications, technical skills, or any other area of life, improvement is impossible without honest evaluation. The sooner we accept that, the faster we can move forward.
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